Myspace Angles

Back in the day, Myspace was all the rage. Everyone had a page and there was a race to see how many “friends” you could get on there. One of the things that influenced your friend count was your picture…you always wanted to have a good Myspace profile picture. You had to get the right angles that made you look best, yet still looked casual and fun.

The way to get these pictures just right was to take the picture from above with from about 45 degrees off-center. The person in the photo usually looks out of the corner of their eyes and smiles so as to stretch the muscles and tendons in the neck…emphasizing the bones, and, well, not your fat neck.

I took a trip to Michigan and Chicago a few years back with my family. My sisters and I were hitting the tourist bars near Wrigley Field, and we all took fun Myspace pictures…mine turned out pretty legendary, this is what I looked like:



As I look at it, I realize that I probably don’t need to hide my identity…one because I know all my readers personally, and two (and most importantly), my face and neck are more mutated than the ninja turtles that I’m pretty much unrecognizable. One of the best things my wife has taught me is that a good argument tends to have 2 points…well she didn’t exactly teach me that…she’s just better at arguing than I am and her arguments ALWAYS have two points.

“The cats are wayyyyy better than the dog. One, because they’re cleaner and TWO, the dog sucks.”

Anyway…why have I gone through all this trouble and posted a ridiculous picture of myself? Well, PS had another wreck-less driving experience recently. I saw this delivery truck on my way to work and I thought it was funny enough by itself…my first few attempts to capture the image didn’t go very well…too far away, too blurry, you name it…yes I took probably 5-6 shots before deciding to drive up alongside the truck (stroke of genius AND pure luck, if you ask me).

I was a good driver and kept my eyes fixed on the road in front of me, but I aimed my phone at what I hoped would be the right angle to get what I was after…this my friends was my albatross that morning. Turned out, the angle made the picture funnier than it was originally…much like the properly snapped Myspace picture will make an otherwise homely, overweight, and generally unattractive person look more appealing.



Pepe actually puts produce in your tacos...but I got the good Myspace angle on it! So even though it is significantly less appetizing thinking about Pepe dropping fresh duce in your taco, it's funnier, and more attractive to me.

Always check your angles!

PS